We have known each other for a little while now and so I thought it might be a good idea to tell you a bit more about my life and share a few things that perhaps you don’t know about me. The first thing I shall share is that I live in an Old Age Home that is disguised as a really lovely old block of flats. When I rented my flat, the agent didn’t see fit to point out the fact that when I moved in, I would almost certainly be the youngest person in the block by at least one generation. I guess, the lesson learnt is, that when viewing potential places of residence, one should keep a look out for any evidence of nosey “curtain-twitchers” and zimmer frames!
The other characteristic of this lovely block of flats that the afore mentioned agent neglected to mention is that the garden is a veritable treasure trove for birdwatchers . Whilst I love the familiar call of the Hadeda or occasional cry of a Guinea Fowl as much as the next South African…I never realised that these birds and other very noisy varietals have been allowed to breed prolifically in the gardens of the block and seem to lead a very protected existence. When I say protected, what I actually mean is carefully guarded and exceptionally well cared for…to illustrate my point, let me show you Exhibit A – The Peacock Update. This little newsletter appeared in my post box shortly after moving into the block and served as an introduction to the family of Peafowl that roam freely in the gardens (names have been removed to protect the innocent).
Exhibit A - The Peafowl Chronicles
Updates similar to this appear pretty much on a monthly basis and I will share them with you some time in the futre…but you will be delighted to hear that despite his advancing years and receding tail feathers, Percy is still going strong. Have you ever heard the noise a Peacock/peahen makes? If not, I have attached a little sound clip for you to hear them (Click here to listen)…that often goes through the day and night. They also seem to have developed some kind of harmonising routine with the resident Guinea Fowl, Egyptian Geese, Dikkop and Hadeda population (did I mention it was a veritable treasure trove for birdwatchers??). The only benefit of din would be that the chorus of vuvuzelas that accompany all World Cup Soccer games really don’t phase me at all…
So…now that you are familiar with the fauna of the block, I shall now tell you about some of the residents. I have managed to keep to myself since moving in and have (fortunately) had very little to do with most of the residents…but what I can tell you is to Beware of Greeks Old Grannies carrying Gifts…they definitely have a hidden agenda. I discovered this when I was greeted by Downstairs Neighbour on Friday morning, bearing a gift. (It should be noted that whilst we normally greet each other and discuss the weather when passing in the passage, we have NEVER exchanged gifts). I was immediately suspicious and I was right…she was coming to give me a “talking-to” and thought she would soften the blow by arriving with a gift. It seems that my late night returns from various World Cup game viewings have not gone un-noticed in the Block and it seems, were waking people up. It would appear, that there was also some concern as to what exactly I was doing that was causing me to return home at such odd hours of the night (do old people not watch Soccer or remember that you might celebrate a result by having a drink or two after the match???)…so after much discussion, Downstairs Neighbour was appointed to come and chat to me about my “questionable behaviour” AND whilst she was having the chat, she also thought it appropriate to request that I refrain from flushing the loo after 9pm, as it wakes her up and causes massive distress…so much so, that she has been forced to take Rescue Remedy to calm her nerves. I was quite shocked…firstly that anyone thought MY night time activities suspicious enough to convene a discussion about, secondly that they then felt the need to discuss it with me, thirdly that a flushing loo could cause anyone enough distress that they would need to resort to Rescue Remedy!! Anyway, I promised not to flush between hours of 9pm and 7am and assured them that after 11 July normality shall return and late night arrivals will be limited to weekends!!
However, whilst trying to block out the cries of Penelope and her brood whilst trying to sleep off the effects of a few too many glasses of wine on Friday night, I got to thinking about how much noise I could possibly be making as a Singleton Girl, living alone, not in possession of any major surround sound or home theatre equipment and due to the barren nature of the Man-scape, certainly not entertaining any gentlemen callers…and decided “WTF!!! These old people are just being ridiculous and if they think that is a noise, I will show them a noise…I am going to get a vuvuzela AND a kuduzela and use them A LOT!”.
Although, not sure what medication Downstairs Neighbour will need to resort to if I do that…I dare say it may have to be slightly stronger than homeopathic!
I shall keep you posted on how my strategy works out!!
